In this talk, I will examine how perceptions of a partner's regard for the self govern social inference and social interaction processes in dating and marital relationships. The research stems from the observation that people exercise caution in their romantic attachments, allowing themselves to value and feel close to their romantic partners only when they believe their partners also value and love them. In the first part of the talk, I will present cross-sectional data that suggest low self-esteem dating and married people are less satisfied in their relationships because they needlessly question their partners' positive regard and love for them. In the second part of this talk, I will present experimental data that suggest low self-esteem people read too much into signs of difficulty in their relationships, jumping to the conclusion that rejection is forthcoming, and then self-protectively distancing themselves from their partners. In the third part of this talk, I will present daily diary data that suggest married intimates who feel less valued by their partners read more into stressful events, feeling more hurt on days after they experienced conflicts, or a moody, or ill-behaved partner. They then respond to feeling hurt by behaving badly toward their partners on subsequent days. I will conclude by arguing that chronically activated needs for belongingness might actually lead people who are trying to finds of acceptance to undermine the quality of their dating and marital relationships.